Category: Dreams


I have had a whirlwind of a last couple of months. Interviews, a new job, getting sued for medical bills I never denied payment for, and a car crash that left my car like so:

The hassle with the insurance companies and finding a new car and needing to pay a difference on the totaled vehicle and paying a citation that followed this horrific and traumatic event in my life was almost enough to make me wish I hadn’t survived. However, the day it happened, I started writing a poem (sort of) and later realized I was just getting frustrated with a system designed to make you give up and decide that life is no longer worth it. If my near death experience taught me anything, it is that there is very little in life that really matters. Everything else is just meaningless fluff.

I am so very grateful to my true friends – the ones who were there for me and stepped up to the plate to help out both me and my family. Being down to one vehicle with a very long commute to work in two opposite directions is zero fun. Thank you guys for being awesome. Thank you for helping me long enough for me to remember how not to be miserable again and to simply be grateful for all my blessings.

Without further ado, here is what I really came to say today:

If you asked me yesterday what I’d be doing today, I would not have said anything along the lines or what actually did happen. This is not how I planned for my Valentine’s day to go. 

Today, I almost died.
Today, I almost killed others with no intent.
Today, I realized in a moment of clarity, while spinning uncontrollably under an 18 wheeler that almost crushed me and being shot back across a miralculously empty for a few seconds high-speed four-lane highway to safety in the median, that I didn’t have any regrets while leaving this world.
Today, by all logic and probability, I should be dead.
Today, I feel so empowered to be alive, to be here still, to be a living voice in the drone of many voices.
Today, I am grateful to be able to write these words, to drink a hot chocolate, to enjoy my family and their love, to learn who my true friends are, and take joy from the antics of my cats.
Today, I am pleasantly surprised to know I have found people, who after a week of knowing me, would drive into danger to save me. And that a person I met once cared enough to send me a few words of comfort in my time of need.
Today, I know I’ve changed into someone I can hardly recognize and so much of the anguish I held inside has disappeared with the wreckage of my cursed car.
Today, my spirit is still restless and all is not well with my soul but I know I am not afraid of death or what comes after. Returning to God’s embrace does not bring this sinful soul a trace of terror, only a yearning to be in His presence.
Today, I know what Really matters to me in the chaos and corruption and suffering and negativity that has been ruling my social feed and fueling my passion for justice and equality.
Today, my heart confirmed that Love really is the cliched answer to so many hatreds but it is not a solution easily achieved. I still cannot bring myself to forgive those that have truly wronged my soul.
Today, I know I was saved by the will of God and in His Mercy He saved me; maybe someday I will be worthy of His miracle.
Today, I know that all things taken into account, GOOD still exists in the world, people can be wonderful, and God still cares.
Today, I am reborn.

I normally do not write political pieces out of fear that some Homeland security agent will decide I’m a threat to the country and make me disappear somewhere no one will ever find me again. In light of the current climate, however, I feel compelled to write about my experience of being an American Muslim female of Pakistani descent in a society that has branded everyone like me as a terrorist.

As an American, I am sad to say I am living through the kind of historic times I never thought I would have to live through. I have always been so proud of my country – the one that polices and guides the whole world, the one that has become the face of democracy, equality and freedom. I have always been so very secure in the knowledge that no matter what the rest of the world was like, I could always rely on my country to be the light in the dark, the world’s knight in shining armor, the army that stands between good and evil.

My pride and faith in this country have been shattered. My belief that America stood for ALL Americans is gone. My belief that the government is here to protect, serve and create order is gone. My hope that the children of tomorrow would grow up as free as possible of racial and religious prejudice has totally evaporated. This is definitely due to the fact that so many acts of terrorism have happened all around the world and have been performed by Islamic terrorists. But it is also because Western countries supplied that hate and the weapons to those terrorists in the first place.

Has anyone ever noticed how there is always more money for building weapons and walls and starting wars but never enough funding for medical care and educating the masses so that they actually understand the world better and can rise up against crooked politicians?

I have been on a roll with trying new things in the past few months. I have also touched base with the things I once loved to do and hadn’t done since my teens or childhood. But now, I am thinking of doing things that aren’t always shiny rainbows and happy unicorns. I am considering joining peaceful protests on the streets – the kind of thing I have never done. I am thinking about writing to my local representatives, senators, governor – all because I am enraged and terrified by the actions of the worst president the United States has ever known. I don’t care if you don’t share my opinion. This is going to continue to be my opinion as long as this man remains president of a country that wholeheartedly finds him absolutely repulsive in every way possible.

I am so very tired of people telling me it is going to be okay. I am tired of people telling me I don’t need to be afraid. I am tired of ‘alternative facts’ and men deciding what women can do with their bodies. I am tired of being profiled and degraded for my religion and the color of my skin. I am tired of being vilified by people who have never even known someone like me. I am tired of people who have never left their small town and seen anything beyond a few hundred miles of our country trying to control the millions of very different lives everyone across the world leads on the basis of their limited experience and willful ignorance.

I am tired of being treated  like a third class citizen because I wasn’t born with the ‘right’ skin color and the ‘right’ religion.

I am especially tired of being told to go back where I came from. How about all of you go back to Europe or Russia, too?

I am tired of domestic terrorism not being labelled as such – unless of course a Muslim person was involved.

A brand new mosque and a brand new, unopened Islamic center were burned down near me recently. To the ground. They took hundreds of thousand of dollars to build and years to make. But they were callously destroyed. Imagine if that happened to a church or synagogue – the world would be in an uproar about it. But mosques? No one cares. It’s not terrorism or a hate crime at all.

The western media doesn’t care about the ethnic cleansing of Burmese Muslims. Or the masses being wiped out in Arabic countries. Or the hundred of instances of terrorism committed against people in Muslim countries like Pakistan and Turkey by those same terrorists. No one in the Western world lifts a single finger against any of it. Nor do they acknowledge that their wars and greed for oil have incited much of these repercussions they now face or that Most of the people killed by terrorist attacks have been Muslims.

Do people think that Muslims just woke up one day and decided to be terrorists? Does no one ever wonder WHY they decided to kill themselves to incite terror and fear in others? Some of them are probably brainwashed and believe they are doing it in the way of God – they aren’t. Islam forbids this kind of evil. Most of them do these things either for the safety of their loved ones or out of hate for the people that never accepted them, always turned them away, looked down on them and treated them as lesser being because they were ‘savages’ – even though the western nations were the ones that invaded and made colonies everywhere. subjecting people to their whims and culminating in a massive slave trade as well as laying down the foundations for terrorist organizations, the effects of which we all continue to suffer from today.

Did slavery exist before all this? Most certainly. But was it so widely accepted and was it done on such a major scale? I don’t believe so. People still think they are so much better than others based on their skin tone. Why this is so, I don’t understand. We are all flesh and blood. We are all human beings who experience the same emotions and needs. Why anyone thinks they are superior to anyone else because of their skin tone is beyond me. Why anyone thinks their religion is superior to anyone else’s is beyond me too.

I still remember the Crusades and the Holocaust. Did the rest of the world forget?

Conquest and subjection of the losing populace are a repetition in human history that will never end. However, we no longer live in an age where you can make mountains of skulls and burn grand libraries to the ground and not have people rise up against you.

To those who think your race is what makes you superior, to those that think your faith is better than everyone else’s, to those that think your way of life is better than the rest of the world’s – NEWS FLASH: IT IS NOT. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. YOU ARE JUST AS SIGNIFICANT AND INSIGNICANT AS A BLADE OF GRASS IN A GIANT MEADOW.

To those that want to turn America in to the present day Nazi Germany, good luck. You will not win this war.

Forgive me for the rant, but I felt I would explode if I didn’t put my thoughts into words. In conclusion, the poem I wrote below explains my feelings most clearly:

American born
American raised
Proud not to be
Anti-any-race

Muslims banned
Mosques hazed
On what constitution
Is this based?

America – land of the free
Home of the brave
Why has fear
Become your face?

Good old days of
War, injustice, inequality
Will never return
For the crazed

This is democracy
This is freedom of speech
This is my country
Where my loyalty is based

I will not be silenced
I will not be controlled
I will rise above
The hatred in your soul

 

 

 

 

 

Amidst the plethora of 2017 resolutions and “decide who you want to be this year” and how you can “change everything about yourself” articles, I find that this post will be severely out of place. However, that’s why it actually matters. It isn’t about changing everything about yourself or letting something go or accepting a past failure or turning over a new leaf. It is about continuing to evolve with every day we are blessed with, even when it is depressing, lonely, and hard to breathe. It is about forever forging forward despite all the difficulties and challenges we face in order to grow and achieve our dreams.

Achieving dreams is a different process for everyone. For some, it is go to school, struggle, find an internship and debut in the world. For others, there are a lot of detours along the way. For yet others, school is not even a factor. What they love and are talented in doing doesn’t require any teaching, it’s an intrinsic talent that they polish by actually doing what they love. For a lot of people, a dream is finding something to be passionate about in the first place. Sometimes, we have to explore new avenues to search for a dream. We have to do things and experience things that are out of our comfort zone in order to find what it is we have always been looking for. And sometimes, for some of us, we have more than just one dream.

This post is about how one of my amazing friends inspired me to try something I never thought I would do and it has ended up being one of the most unique experiences of my life. It is about how when we have the courage to pursue our dreams, despite countless setbacks, it is possible to fulfill them and become the people we always wanted to become. It is about me doing something I would have been terrified of doing just a couple years ago – and having a blast doing it. This is the story of a dream becoming a reality.

One of my friends decided to pursue a dream. She created her very own photography business called Ember Faith Photography starting late last year. Her Facebook Page and website are just little steps in the journey towards her achieving her dream. They don’t show you her hard work, joyful enthusiasm and absolute passion for her work. While working a full-time, exhausting job (I know because we work together), being a mother to her beautiful daughter Eden, who I will be showcasing below, and her adorable son Oliver, and going back to school at the same time, she somehow managed to not only start a time-consuming business but excel in her craft.

She has done everything from family portraits, to maternity pictures, to couples photography, to boudoir shoots, to (with me) artsy-ethnic photography, to even a small wedding. I can’t express how fun the shoot we collaborated on was or how mind-blowing the resulting pictures are. I have never seen myself as attractive but Sarah managed to make me feel eclectic, exotic, beautiful and comfortable (even while dancing in an empty parking lot or posing on the street as passerby slowed down to see what was happening XD). I can tell from my own experience that she managed to do the same for all of the people that made a great choice and chose her for their photography sessions.

So, my dear friends, lets go down a road to the realization of a dream and just how beautiful it can be with the pictures that speak for themselves. Here are a few portraits that Sarah did of her daughter Eden, the enchanting flower girl, some time before she began Ember Faith Photography:

14434986_1326792437330910_632423242916030467_o14468205_1326792347330919_7601442008745268705_o14468552_1326792643997556_785722076674120739_o

All of the shots of Eden have this certain abstract, almost magical quality to them that make me just get lost in the innocent beauty she has managed to capture here with Eden as the enchanting fairy she is:

14711563_1352507694759384_6811317097172042624_o14715586_1357158907627596_6162687619121955344_o14890515_1357158914294262_5202001594065742126_o

Underlying all those images is the love only a mother can have for her child. Eden being the fascinating model she is certainly doesn’t hurt.

However, there is so much more to showcase that I must move on to these amazing pictures of a very unique wedding photoshoot that absolutely blew me away:

Followed by this great collage of maternity pictures that she made for a friend of ours:

15259450_1388242484519238_3201662695657533313_o

As well these adorable newborn shots:

15385497_1401992689810884_8377936042818795644_o15418370_1402684319741721_2111458522839418828_o15440558_1402684546408365_4812016195337079659_o

As anyone with any kind of experience taking pictures of children will tell you, it is difficult at best. Sarah, however, makes it look effortless and enchanting as evidenced by the shots of some very different kinds of children below:

Not only is she amazing at making these kids grin from ear to ear and look adorable, she can take the best family portraits I’ve seen in a good long time:

15250840_1391440694199417_5875065825145178544_o15578070_1421702631173223_4623504298662039687_o15800056_1440564209287065_4573922948048885913_o

14424771_1327431430600344_1256905449051651438_o14500714_1327429957267158_8390836251912310914_o15272269_1391440924199394_6869870031623796941_o

Not to be remiss, I must showcase her talent for capturing the little special moments between couples of all different kinds as well:

However, none of this encompasses all her talents as a photographer. She and I had the best time collaborating to turn a vision she had into a reality. I was the model, decided on the wardrobe and makeup, and provided some of the looks. She scoped out the locations and brought her enthusiasm and sass. It was absolute magic and I loved every second of it. Here are a few (well sort of) pictures from the shoot we had:

15874837_1442498959093590_5979597616592162152_o

2016-12-13-15-42-57edit

In front of the wall mural painted by Tyler Kay, a local Houston artist and absolutely phenomenal person: http://www.instgram.com/tylerkay/

I’m sure it is hard to tell from these photos but I’m not normally the type to model on the streets. Sarah made me feel beautiful and valued. I can’t say how much of a confidence boost that was. Below are the pictures where I even danced for her in an empty parking lot:

2016-12-13-16-15-27edit2016-12-13-16-17-22edit2016-12-13-16-23-07-3edit2016-12-13-16-24-49-3edit2016-12-13-16-25-22edit2016-12-13-16-26-08edit2016-12-13-16-25-07-1edit

After this singular moment in my life, we moved onto another location where we some extremely striking wall art and took a few more pictures that make me question if that is really me in the pictures or if Sarah did some magic and put someone else there in my place:

I think the pictures and their vibrancy speak for themselves. These are all proof of the hard work, the talent, the personality and the artistic eye Sarah is in possession of and is using to the best of her abilities. If y’all ever decide to have a private photoshoot done for yourself, then Ember Faith Photography should definitely be your go-to!

I find nothing as satisfying and humbling as seeing the talents of my friends grow, blossom and stun me with the beauty they produce. Seeing them achieving their dreams and becoming empowered, fulfilled people is such an inspiration amidst the negativity that runs rampant in the world today. I am so, so proud of all of them and am so very grateful that they continue to be part of my life.

A special thanks to Sarah and her amazing work for allowing me to not only feel beautiful for a day but to feel special and unique every time I see the pictures she took of me. Thank you boo!

To all of you out there struggling to make ends meet and feeling down-hearted because nothing ever goes right and you cannot even imagine pursuing that dream you have always had – I know your pain. I know how soul-crushing and difficult and isolating it is. But please, don’t ever give up on yourself. Don’t ever believe the world that assures you that you will never amount to anything. Don’t let your inner demons hold you back.

You Can Do It. I believe more in the power of the human will to accomplish its goals than anything else. May God be with all of you and may you all find success in this new year! Happy 2017!

 

 

 

 

So far, we went to Rome, Assisi, Orvieto, Spello, Florence and Venice together. I suppose it’s now time to introduce to you Padua, Verona and Milano before concluding with Lake Como.

The largest piazza in Italy, Prato della Valle, is surprisingly located in Padua. Just a little ways from the piazza is the Basilica di Sant’Antonio di Padova which is just lovely and also houses a museum of its own.

After that early morning stroll, we ventured onwards and found ourselves in romantic Verona, home to the famous balcony of Juliet and her statue as well as the Arena and several very expensive designer stores all lined on one street. the people of Verona were the most fashion conscious Italians I met outside of Milan.

After a brief time in Verona, we continued to Milano and it’s incredibly different and modern buildings that are a direct result of Milan being bombed during World War II. However, the most recognizable and renowned location in Milan, il Duomo, did not disappoint with its centuries old majesty. The Galleria adjacent to Il Duomo was quite simply one of the most complete collection of exclusive and extremely pricey designers under one figurative roof. Even famous car companies had shops at the Galleria. Behind the Galleria was the famous Opera House and housed in the Galleria is the one artwork I did not get to see – Leonardo’s Last Supper. I wasn’t aware that the tickets had to be bought far in advance and hence did not book myself one. Hopefully, some day I can return to see that historic painting as well.

That regret aside, Milan did not disappoint in its extravagant offerings. It quite reminded me of NYC, just a little less insanely busy. My favorite thing, however, were the roasted nuts being sold by snack carts all over Milan – they were absolutely delicious!

Our activities for the night came to an end after dark and most people returned to the hotel. I returned later that evening to explore the Duomo and visit with a friend. It was perfect.

The next day it rained from morning till night and into my last day in Italy. Unfortunately, it was that day that we had Lake Como on our schedule. I imagine it must be even more amazing during summer, or when it is not raining as it was the entire time we were in the area.

We traveled by bus to the city of Menaggio. From there, we took a boat across Lake Como to Bellagio. We didn’t go to Como itself which was a shame – a friend informed me there was a cheese and chocolate festival at Como that day. However, just exploring Bellagio itself turned out to be great fun for me and though it was raining I still got some beautiful pictures of a place straight out of a fairy tale.

We returned to Milan after those stunning vistas to enjoy another excellent dinner and say our goodbyes. I left Italy the next day. It became an extremely fulfilling and uplifting memory for me.

The beauty of this world and the human mind’s capability to imagine and adapt is endless. Everywhere we went, we encountered warm-hearted, kind and helpful people. I didn’t have a single negative experience with any Italian person. My tour group afforded me a few new good friends and allowed me to meet some kindred spirits.

Italy itself gave me a sense of endlessness. The civilizations repeatedly upended, the many stories associated with every cobblestone, the many different belief systems that came and went, and the astounding art that people created surrounded by the natural beauty of creation – it was a package that is still making me smile with a joyous soul.

There is nothing quite like getting more than you bargained for, especially if it is a pleasant surprise. Italy was much, much more than I had imagined and I didn’t even see all of it. Pisa and Naples were sorely missed. However, everywhere I went, I saw one thing every Italian had in common – a pride in their people and in their heritage, as well as very, very big hearts. I’m sure others have experienced different but I am simply sharing what I experienced.

If I were to live away from the States, Italy is where I would want to create a new home. If you can go, please do visit Italy. It is worth every penny.

For staying with me until the end of my journey, grazie! And because this journey has come to its end, Ciao!

May 2017 bring you many pleasant surprises!

To continue where I left off last time, still in the vein of remembering the good parts of a horrid year, I’ll start with my day in Florence experiencing some of the most famous art and architecture in the world as well as exploring real Italian leather goods and gold products. We drove to Florence from Padua (a small town where we spent the night) and were immediately wowed by its casually grandiose beauty.

We began our journey in Florence with an introduction into one of the most famous art galleries in the world – Galleria Dell’Academia. It was a dream come true for me. I saw not only the David but the amazing incomplete works of art that seemed truly as if they were in the midst of being born that Michelangelo had left behind. I think it’s best seen for yourself:

20161102_111632

I apologize for the atrocious pictures but they were the best that I and my phone could take in the limited amount of time we had there. Of course there were several more sculptures done by students of the Academia over the years that were equally fascinating as showcased below:

As is obvious, the masters of the Academia do not graduate students lightly. However, this was only one wonder that Florence had to share. From the Galleria, we then progressed to the Duomo of Florence – the cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore. It was so humongous that it encapsulated my entire vision for a good few hundred meters both horizontally and vertically. The detail and artwork were beyond what I could imagine possible for a cathedral of such stature. It was truly magnificent. Right across the street from the Duomo is a Baptistery which is equally amazing. Both were designed by Filippo Brunelleschi and do him a great honor. Please partake of the amazing experience with me:

Moving on from the Duomo, we ended up at the old palace of Florence, Palazzo Vecchio. It belonged to the once reigning families, the Vecchios, and was abandoned after the new reigning family took over and deemed it unfit for living. I’m not sure what exactly was unfit because I was absolutely blown away:

After this fantastic and mind-blowing experience, we then moved on to experience one of the most exclusive shops in Italy that offers only the best of Italian leather and gold – Misuri and The Gold Market. Located in Piazza de Santa Croce almost adjacent to the church of Santa Croce, the sister shops have an unassuming entrance and look just like any other shop from the outside. The inside, however, is a whole different world. We were given a demonstration by one of the owners of The Gold Market and Misuri and it was just amazing. I think their websites speak for them better than I ever could: The Gold Market/ Misuri.

Those who opted to could also explore the Piazza de Santa Croce as pictured below:

20161102_123956

I was so enchanted and so in love with Florence that I elected not to go out on the Italian appertivo dinner offered to my tour group that night and got a good night’s rest.

The next day brought me to the most Unique place I have experienced so far – Venezia. Everything about Venice, from how we got there via a 20 minute boat ride from the mainland, to the hundreds of bridges crisscross the collection of islands that make up Venice, to the very impressive Piazza San Marco and St. Mark’s Basilica, to Doge’s Palace and the Bridge of Sighs, as well as the glassblowing artisans of Venice and the excellent squid ink pasta I immensely enjoyed, made Venice a true once-in-a-lifetime experience for me. I think these pictures will speak for me much better than my words:

The pictures above were simply an introduction to Venice. Below are some images from Doge’s Palace that was literally the most opulent place outside of the Vatican I’ve ever been to.

Following this, we got our first look at Saint Marcos Square where I didn’t really have time to take pictures. We also had a tour of the inside of Saint Mark’s Basilica (interesting fact: it floods regularly as Venice is sinking a little every year) but as photography is not allowed in many religious centers, I was only able to get these pictures of the building and it’s surroundings:

We then progressed to a demonstration of glassblowing by one of the Maestro’s of the Murano Glass Factory, one of the most well-respected and renowned in the world. He blew a beautiful horse and a really cool vase in less than ten minutes:

A short break, with time to make purchases and grab a quick bite to eat, we were then treated to a gondola ride! That was on my bucket list ever since the first time I saw it in a movie when I was maybe seven. It was not what had imagined but it was certainly worth the discomfort to see gorgeous Venice from the water:

After that, I confess most of my time enjoying the wares of Venetian Merchants and had little time for tourist curiosity. I don’t regret a single thing. It was a shopper’s haven (Hi my name is sakurascorpion and I’m a shopaholic). I then had that excellent squid ink pasta in extremely cold sea air next to the ocean and returned to the town of Padua for the night.

I think that’s enough of a recount of my adventures in Italy for today. Hope y’all return for more Italian wonders tomorrow. Ciao!

 

I know this post has been a long time coming and I apologize. I have just been really involved in personal issues and life in general. The recent election is something I’m not going to discuss in this post – I’m incredibly drained from the political and human drama of the moments. Instead, I’m going take this opportunity to talk about my recent trip to the Big Apple.

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned I went to Seattle and saw some amazing things in Washington and Vancouver, BC. I learned a lot from that trip and was delighted to reconnect with family I hadn’t seen in almost two decades. That trip wasn’t just about going away from Houston, it was about reconnecting to my roots – I spent several summers in Seattle as a child. However, this post is about my time in NYC and growing as a person through my experiences there (be prepared for a lot of pictures)!

A few weeks after returning home from Seattle, I visited New York City for the first time in my life. I was a little nervous before I left – I would be on my own in a strange and fantastic city and had no one there to help me out. However, the very thing I was afraid of turned out to be one of the best things about my trip. I absolutely loved exploring, getting lost in, and finding hidden treasures from losing my way in NYC. I rode the subway, the ferry and the bus. I once lost my way and ended up in Harlem at midnight. That resulted in me walking through Brooklyn streets at 2 am on my way back to my Air BnB and almost using my taser on someone that was approaching me threateningly. Hence, while there were moments of anxiety and frustration, there was so much More excitement and energy!

When you hear that New Yorkers are always on the go, you should believe it. People are always on their way to somewhere to do something. It doesn’t matter where you go, people are intent on accomplishing a goal, even if it is to spend an idyllic day in Central Park. That energy infected me too. In just three and a half days, I managed to visit the Empire State Building, Lady Liberty, New York Stock Exchange, Wall Street, the 9/11 Memorial, 5th Avenue, Times Square, Central Park, the MET, the MOMA, Brooklyn Bridge, Rockefeller Center, SoHo, Little Italy, Chinatown, and Grand Central Station. Each place was unique, exciting and thought-provoking. Some of the more iconic locations literally made me tear up with happiness.

One of the best things about NYC was the ease of access to everything one might need. It was great to be able to buy Halal food literally everywhere I went. It was really great being able to get basically anywhere with public transport at all hours of the day and night. I could buy anything I hadn’t brought with me at the countless little stores lining every street. And having street vendors made it easy to get nice things for a low price. In short, NYC surprised me by being so easy to navigate and being so convenient for someone a lone traveler in a strange environment. In retrospect, going there became a huge source of both confidence and self assurance for me. And it gave me the courage to go somewhere else shortly after, which I’ll be talking about in my next post (hint, it looks like a boot!).

Now to review all the amazing places I was lucky enough to visit:

I ended up at Wall Street by accident (took the wrong train) and had a surprisingly good time wandering around there on a holiday (it was Labor day). From there I walked to the majestic and awe-inspiring 9/11 Memorial grounds. I must also admit that I fell in love with the mall/train station adjacent to the Memorial. Being at the Memorial was a really surreal feeling for me, especially given the day I went there. The building itself is amazing enough but the names written on the walls surrounding what looks like a waterfall seen from above made me really grateful for the life I’ve been given. Here are some pictures I took to commemorate my visit there:

 

Following my time there, I decided to go to the Empire State Building. On the way, I got lost a couple of times and wandered through 5th Avenue as well as Korea town, but it was totally worth it. The mass of humanity in NYC is almost overwhelming, but at the same time it’s really wonderful to be around people from so many different places and no one gives your race or gender a second thought. In any case, I did reach the Empire State Building and enjoyed a fascinating view of New York City from up high. It looked more amazing the darker it got and I just have to share the view with all of you!

From there, I went where literally every tourist ever has gone before – Times Square! It was everything I’d ever seen on TV and more. The energy was unbelievable, there were countless street vendors and performers, and I doubt a single true New Yorker was in sight. Even so, it was a dream come true to be there and just enjoy the sights! I absolutely loved Broadway though I didn’t catch a show (I just don’t enjoy theater, I know blasphemy but what can I do?). It was a great way to wrap up my first day in NYC.

I started off the next day with going somewhere I had always dreamed of visiting – the Metropolitan Museum of Art. As an art and history buff, I absolutely loved the MET. If I had the time, I could go there every day all day for a week and still not see everything. Thus far, it is the most awe inspiring museum I have had the pleasure of visiting. There was too much I loved there but I’ll just share a few things that really stood out for me.

I know those are a lot of pictures, but I promise you that that these are only a small percent of the things on display at the MET. For anyone who loves art or history, this is a must see!

After spending the whole day at the MET, I decided to walk the Brooklyn Bridge and fell completely in love with it. The MET and the Brooklyn Bridge are easily my favorite places in NYC as of now. Walking across the Bridge was both amazing and unreal – it felt like I was in a different world for a little while. It’s one of the few things I would like to do again if I ever go back to NYC. Here are some views from the bridge.

Following that amazing experience, I went onto Rockefeller Center. It was a lesson in grandeur and tastefulness. I had an amazing time going to the top and seeing NYC from on high once more.

My adventure on the way back was quite interesting. I had an almost hour long conversation about spiritualism with a hotel employee on my way out of Rockefeller center, followed by an interesting shopping trip for a hoodie which resulted in a stranger offering to take me to dinner and drive me back to my Air BnB. Such an interesting evening.

I started out my next day in NYC by going on a free walking tour of Central Park – or rather a corner of it. The day started out extremely windy and cloudy so I was afraid it would be a disaster but it cleared up right on time for the tour. In fact, it got extremely warm during my time there. Following the tour, I took a brief walk around Central Park on my own and can safely say I completely loved it there, as is obvious from the following shots I took while there.

I didn’t stay as long as I would have liked as I had another significant trademark of the Big Apple left to see – Lady Liberty! I ended up riding the Staten Island Ferry to Staten Island and back in order to see Lady Liberty. I didn’t go to Liberty Island (it was closed) but I did get to see her! No good pictures of that adventure, sadly, but here is at least one of her and one of the NYC skyline as seen from my angle at the time (I love the NYC skyline, if that isn’t obvious yet lol).

Following my trip to see Lady Liberty, I had a disappointing and frustrating time walking around SoHo (I’m sure this is because I’m a clueless newb) and stopped by Little Italy to have some truly excellent pasta and also strolled through Chinatown – it didn’t feel like I was in the States anymore at that point with the shop owners yelling out their wares, everything written in Chinese and the kind of crowds you see on TV when they show you a shot of Hong Kong.

I concluded my day with a trip to see a place I have dreamed of seeing since I first saw Home Alone as a child – Grand Central Station! I’m not even going to  lie – I happy cried right before I took that selfie down there. It was just fantastic – the energy was unbelievable and it took my breath away. Totally a dream come true for me!

I was due to leave the next afternoon and head back home so I spent my morning at the Museum of Modern Art. I absolutely had to see the Starry Night that was on display at the MoMA at the time. In doing so, I also saw a very emotional series of stories told my illegal immigrants who left home to find refuge or a better life and ended up in different places in Europe and their lives after the fact. I also saw a series of documentary shorts about Napalm and the horror it rendered on so many people. It shook me deeply. However, many of the exhibitions there did not allow photography so I’ll just share what I was able to photograph.

They had a fairly cool sculpture garden that I took full advantage of after I had achieved my goal of seeing Van Gogh’s most amazing painting (IMO). This concluded my exploration of NYC but not the lessons I learned there.

On my way back to my Air BnB to pick up my luggage and head home, I fell hard on the concrete and scratched myself up. My Uber driver showed up shortly after so I couldn’t even clean up the blood properly. We then ran into some serious traffic followed by construction and road closures. I almost didn’t make it to my flight – or that would have been the case had the flight not been over booked and so full that they requested several passengers to check in their carry on luggage.

On the flight back, I sat next to an elderly couple from Pakistan whose daughter lives in Houston. We ended up talking the whole flight back and I had an amazing time learning all about them and their family. They even gave me some great advice – never stop learning and never give up! Find opportunity where people see only adversity. Life will inevitably be difficult and seriously traumatic events will occur. But that is never the end, unless you let it be. Hope springs eternal and as long as there is hope, there is a chance for success. They gave me so much love it caught me off guard. It was a truly singular experience and gave me so much hope for humanity.

Travel has taught me so much – independence (more than usual), ingenuity, the ability to adapt to unexpected situations, and patience. I’ve grown stronger from all of it.

My message today is simple – travel like your life depends on it. Save and travel, no matter what. You’ll have strange and uncomfortable experiences that will help you grow. You will have awe-inspiring, unforgettable experiences that will lift you up. And you will make fleeting but unforgettable connections with strangers that may become a great inspiration for you and may determine how you live the rest of your life.

More than anything, trust your instincts and never stop growing and learning. You will become stronger every time you learn more and see more. So, travel. And travel some more. I certainly plan to!

I know this has been a long post but I hope you enjoyed it and will look forward to the next one! Until next time, ciao!

 

 

 

A strong woman, they say
Forged in the fires of pain
Feeling the salt and blood of rivers
Flowing down the cracks in her skin
Through the warmth that keeps
Her living, slowly becoming her veins

A strong woman, they call her
As she picks herself up again and again
You, and you, and you, and you –
You who were supposed to be
Her brother, her lover, her protector, friend
Turned into the very vultures that
Attacked her even as she writhed in pain

A strong woman, they labeled me
This tired, brittle bag of bones
With each day, it becomes harder
Each trial making me more alone
I did all I imagined possible
But it was never enough to ensure
That I would never have to be strong enough
To weather all, steady as stone

A strong woman, I’m told
Is one like me, racing through
Typhoons, tidal waves, earthquakes
Even the deep dark of a black hole
As if nothing is of consequence
Like no matter how many meteorites strike me
I will simply go on, perfectly whole

A strong woman, I may have become
But with every step, every fall
My soul shattered into jagged glass
My feet slippery from bleeding with
Cuts made each time I broke
And break I did, losing another piece of me
Every time I had to forge myself anew

This strong, independent woman
Was wrung through every pain the world
Could imagine, first taking her innocence
Then her dignity, clipping her wings
To cage her when she would have flown
Slowly corrupting even her smile
Until all that remained was a shell

This strong woman became a hollow husk
A puppet on a string manipulated
By you, her protectors in name
But in truth, you were her jailers
The ones forever claiming you knew
What she could and could not do

This woman, before she was strong
Was in apathetic darkness years long
Eventually, she realized she would die
If she remained caged, unable to fly
So she broke free of her shackles
Finally roaring with rage
Daring the world to challenge
Her right to live, never again enslaved

This strong woman, she made
So many choices, both right and wrong
But she learned her own mind
She learned to stand strong
Believing she could shape her own life
Whether or not she ever came to belong

This strong woman slowly changed
From a girl into a woman older than her age
Along the way, she lost many people
She broke her heart, she failed her dreams
Some people abandoned her, some used her
But with every scar, she learned to go on

This strong woman, she survived
The rush of agony each time
Life taught, terrorized, traumatized
Each time, the dark rose to take over
She learned a new depth of light inside
Growing stronger with every passing night

This strong woman, who knew love once
Came to know betrayal
Came to know abandonment
Learned she could always fail
With every instance she chose perseverance
Her desire to Live grew stronger, she prevailed

A strong woman can never be weak
Even as you choke the life blood from her
No tear will fall from her eyes
No sign of pain will show through her mask
She will only scream silently, praying for help
She never gets an answer that
She didn’t have to create for herself

A strong woman should never be lonely
That is the mantra she repeats to herself
Every time she sees someone happy, whole
She wonders who her happiness stole
She became so strong that the weak majority
Became afraid and intimidated
Now she walks alone because
No one of equal strength walks nearby

A strong woman they call me
As if it was so easy to become me
As if I didn’t have to struggle down
Every path I chose for myself
As if every scar didn’t tell another
Festering, heartbreaking story
As if, somehow, this title I have earned
Were just a casual note in a Symphony

This strong woman, every time she starts anew
Digging out a new path, carving a new trail
Becomes a little stronger with each drop of pain
Becomes harder with every scorching flame
The pressure of hardship and expectations
Slowly turning her into a diamond untamed

Let me start, once again, by the wonder invoked in me by an art exhibit as pictured below:

Kusama Exhibit MFAH

A room of floating lights, a platform surrounded by water, and only a minute and a half to enjoy the wonder of being suspended amongst the stars. A minute and a half that completely captured the kind of Universe I want to live in. A minute and a half of complete joy in the wonder of the human imagination.

The amazing world Kusama created is further expressed in the other half of her exhibit as pictured below:

Kusama Exhibit MFAH

I loved the mirrored room with giant lava lamp-likeness, the kind of place I imagine exists in Alice’s wonderland world.

However, God continues to take my breath away with the beauty He created in this world for us to discover and revel in. I had the pleasure of visiting the Seattle area recently and what struck me most was the majesty and absolute glory of the natural beauty in the area. Hiking up Mount Rainier, I was awarded with these breathtaking views:

The beauty I saw there dwarves anything I have seen created by the hand of man. However, I was further blessed to have seen the extraordinary art on display at the Chihuly Gardens in Seattle Center. I believe each piece speaks for itself.

The Gardens also afforded an incredible view of the Space Needle which I went up and thoroughly enjoyed.

What I discovered most of all is that ultimately the more we see, the more we grow. It’s important to leave the norm behind and experience the extraordinary and the overwhelmingly majestic in order to keep flourishing.

To all of you bound by the chains of expectations and daily pestilence, I advise you to act wisely and plan for days that allow you to experience the beauty that can be life. I know it can be really difficult to work in to your busy and financially draining life. However, what is life without adventure? In that vein, happy future travels mi amigos! Until next time, I bid you adieu.

In the land of Dreams, it seems that you have once again become the source of all my glee. Everything I remember about you that was good rolled together in one scene, like when you and I once seemed to fit together so well. In the dreams, we make each other laugh and feel joy in once another, even though time has moved forward and you have not. Even in these dreams, you never chase me or reach out to me first. In fact, you just smile and laigh happily because I complain to you that you don’t but somehow, I still don’t let you go and we are happy…somehow. When I wake up, I feel fluffy like I’m on a cloud and everything is good in life. And then, I remember you as you really are. I remember you the way you were at the end and I feel as though I betray myself every time I dream of you. I feel as though the only way I’m at peace is if I’m at peace with you but that will never happen again, not in the waking dream that I call life. Will you never let me feel peace again?

You were only a dream, one that lasted until it burst in the bubble we had created around us, carefully not allowing reality to intrude upon us. Had you stayed true and never burst that bubble with the heartless cruelty only you know how to inflict upon my soul, I would have stayed true to that dream, to my love of you. Yet you couldn’t even manage that. You couldn’t stay by me. Or rather you wouldn’t. I wasn’t good enough or you weren’t. It was the perfect catch 22 between two incredibly different and highly imperfect people. There was no end but The End.

Why doesn’t my dream self remember the soul shattering pain you caused when you betrayed everything she stood for and had fought so hard for? Why doesn’t she recall how callously you abandoned me once you had no more use for me? Or how your family and you never once turned back to even speak to me after that? Why doesn’t she remember the anguish you caused her, her family, and her friends? How does she forget how easily you threw away a relationship that could overcome anything, anything but the betrayal of your heart, or how it makes her wonder if you were ever true at all?

Come to me in my dreams no more. Abandon me in that land, too, as you once did before. Even my dreams warned me against you, but like the fool that I was, I paid no heed. I have paid for that willful ignorance in full.

I wish no more to remember you or anything of you. I wish no more to find you once again, to have you beg and apologize and do anything to get me back. I wish no more to walk with you in life, I could never trust the fear of your own failures that seems to guide your every action. I wish, most of all, to make you disappear from the parts of me that feel happy at the thought of you. I hate that the you in my dreams makes me so utterly overjoyed and at peace. That the only time I wake feeling so peaceful is after a happy dream of you. I hate you. You hurt me more than I knew was possible.

Reality sometimes seems cruel, but not so in this instance. Reality is a necessary reminder that dreams only last so long. Eventually, they disappear into nothingness if they are not treasured and nurtured with care by everyone involved. Even a small crack in the bubble can lead to the deterioration of all hopes and dreams in the bubble. All that is left behind is devastation and, for the survivors, the inevitability of the passage of time. All the strong have left to them is the absolute determination to go on and never give up.

I am not the strongest or bravest or smartest. But I am, and always have been, a survivor. Being a survivor has left me with no other choice but to grow, to become braver, smarter, stronger, more. I am not who I was just a few months ago and I will never be her again. I am glad I am who I am in this moment. I will not succumb to the empty bliss of ignorance. The past is full of lessons both learned and not. The future is full of experiences I cannot even imagine today. The present is my only concern because this is where I build everything I am going to be and verify all that I am today. That is enough.